Where has all the poetry gone?

~ JeanMarie ~ 24 Comments

That’s what I want to know. It’s been two years since I wrote with any regularity or enthusiasm, and even the trickle of words dried up some time ago.

I know where the poetry went. Into the incinerator along with my left foot back in February 2023. That sounds bitter, but I am not. What I mostly am these days is exhausted. Simply put, disability, for me and many others, means that everything takes longer and is often more difficult.

For a while after “the thing” I was doing well, adjusting and leaning into my new life. Then I got a prosthetic and slipped out of my optimism for the future. Every amputee has a different body and a different experience with physical movement. I am not known for my movement, but more for my sitting. So for me it was not an easy adjustment, although it was painful so I had something to complain about. And it continues, and I’m still complaining. The prosthetist — one who makes prosthesis — had to make several adjustments. Next month I go back for a new socket.

And I still wasn’t writing.

On top of that, I had a recurrence of health issues that benched me some years ago. I went into the hospital in mid-December 2023. Got out at the end of January and two weeks later I was back. You know it’s bad when the nurses and assistants look at you and say, “Didn’t we send you home?” (Eye roll and deep sigh.) When I got to the point where I was able to leave, they kept me a while. When you spend a month in bed, you lose a lot of strength. So they sent me off to rehab, again. And it worked. The physical and occupational therapists were really good and I put in the work.

I am now A Person Who Stands. After over a year of bed or chair, it is a joyful thing to stand. 5 stars. I highly recommend it. I also walk, short distances but step by step I’ll go farther, Yay!

And I’m still not writing.

It’s been three months since I got home to my desk, but I have no new poetry, Or a blog posts I don’t even write long emails anymore. But, here’s the thing. I don’t want to be not-a-writer. The surgeon took my foot. He didn’t take my personality!

So here I am, pressing the keys on the keyboard, writing again.

Wheeling

~ JeanMarie ~ 11 Comments 
Riding the Ferris Wheel
Round and round
Makes my head 
Pound and pound
Now rides at the fair just bring me woe.
Damn the curse of Vertigo!

Still fun to see though.
I'll visit the carnies to spend my dough.

Image courtesy of Living Poetry Monday Poetry Prompt

Dear Readers,

It’s true. My days riding amusement park rides have been over for a long time. I haven’t ridden a Ferris Wheel since I was a child visiting my grandparents. I preferred the carousel. So when I found a working carousel at a huge multi-purpose city park, many years ago, I bought tickets for my mother and me. No, we didn’t get on one of the horses. We sat on the fake sled bench most carousels have for aged adults. I almost wept with self-pity as adult-me suffered from the sound and spinning that never bothered kid-me. .

Princess JeanMarie

Violet Gully

~ JeanMarie ~ 22 Comments

A weathered sign took me off the trail
Diffused sunlight across a ravine of violets,
the sweet smell and vertical purple carpet
brought memories of the old lady who lived next door. ..

She bought the cookies we sold
and gave us a box of apples one year
from her old tree. These brief exchanges
brought us into her shadowy living room. .

Heavy drapes on the windows,
the room was lit by the TV
and blue grow lights on tall shelves
of purple African Violets with fuzzy leaves.

The shifting sun warmed my back
and a gentle breeze tickled my cheek
to wake me from my purple dreams.

I left Violet Gully with a bouquet
of fragrant blossoms to take
me back to purple dreams
of eggplants and amethyst
purple prose and painted toes.

The Rule of Three

~ JeanMarie ~ 7 Comments

Three poems for one click. Happy New Year.


I know a guy who likes worms
He raises them fat and firm
Cute, smart and nerdy
He shares with the birdies
Forget about the germs
Come watch them squirm
Ennie Meanie Miney Moe

I want to date a guy named Joe

He works down at the corner store

I know he would love me more

than Moe


|Breakfast is happy
if toast falls butter side up

Not today loser

October

~ JeanMarie ~ 16 Comments 

An Apology to October

My favorite month of the year
A relief from summer heat

A new color palette
Spice scented everything

Lost in my own world
I let you slip by 

No decorations on my table
No leaf peeping drives 

No pumpkins from the local mart
for painting or carving

I am the one hallowed out
with no words left to write

But before the calendar turns
on this lost year 

I will soak in the final days
Fill my bowl with fresh apples 

Find a pumpkin, hang a skeleton
Before for dia de los muertos

If I hurry I might be able to fill
a cornucopia by Thanksgiving

Feats of a One-Footed Woman

~ JeanMarie ~ 27 Comments

It’s hard to believe that it’s been six months since my “removal” surgery. Thank you to the people who have checked in with me to see how I’m doing. I know some people reading this won’t know what I’m talking about, surprise! My left foot is gone! And I’m OK.

Really. I am OK. I lived with significant daily pain in my foot and ankle for nine years. Then last summer, my foot and I began a downhill slide like a sled on packed snow. Until February a nice surgeon waved his scalpel like Cinderella’s Fairy Godmother waved her wand and took it away.

Of course real life is not a fairy tale and I won’t gloss over the tough parts. It’s been an adjustment. Everything takes more time to get done. And while the Big Pain is gone, I have arthritis in other joints. There’s also some of the mysterious phantom pain in the missing limb you may have heard of. It’s weird. but doesn’t happen often or last long. The important take away is that the left foot is burning in hell where it belongs and I’m happy it’s gone.

The first accomplishment was finding help because I live alone. I have two ladies who alternate days. They come in the morning six days a week for a couple of hours and help with a variety of things which includes personal care, housekeeping, laundry, errands and fetching things out of my reach.

The biggest feat has been conquering the driveway and the threshold. The picture here is my driveway looking out from the garage. The slope rises about a foot in elevation from street to house, which is something when you’re rolling. When I got home, I couldn’t wheel over the threshold to the house by myself and I couldn’t navigate the driveway. It took me months to believe I could do it and figure out how to do it.

Every morning in the garage, aka the gym, with my helper practicing and going farther each day. I can now get in and out of the house and run the driveway by myself. I can even take the recycling barrel (in picture) and the trash barrel down to the curb for pickup. I am now working on the sidewalk as it goes up and down over driveways and uneven ground.

So that’s my check-in. It’s all good folks. Stay safe out there.

Leap

~ JeanMarie ~ 14 Comments

Dear Readers,
This poem was inspired by the Living Poetry August Visual Poetry Prompt. I haven’t been writing. Anything. But the picture and a grocery order gave me an idea for a poem that I actually held onto in my brain for 3 weeks before finally putting it down on paper. Stay Cool friends. It’s hot out there.

Princess JeanMarie

Leap

During August I dream of October

August is green landscape,
droning insects, oppressive
heat like a moist blanket

October is trees blazing red and gold
pumpkins and crunchy piles of leaves,
crisp air and clear skies

When Winter blows in the snow
I leave the bears and the bees to hibernate
while I watch my breath in the cold

After Spring buds burst out with brilliant color
I join the turtles and the lungfish
to estivate in my air conditioned rooms

Yet still there are moments
My face deep in a bowl of ripe peaches
I inhale the scent
and finally
I leap into Summer